This year, my birthday landed on the Black Moon. I chose reflection, family, and a ritual that felt like a gift. I’m sharing it with you here…
This past week has felt like a swirl of beginnings and endings… a Birthday, a Black Moon, Quiet Rituals, and the kind of journaling that leaves ink smudges on my fingers because the words come faster than my hand can write.
I asked myself again and again: What’s mine to carry? What can I set down? What actually matters right now?
And here’s the thing: leaning into what’s important isn’t about adding more. It’s about releasing.
Releasing the loops of my mind.
Releasing the proving.
Releasing the story that if I don’t hold it all together, it will all fall apart.
Because when I strip it all back, what remains is simple.
Connection.
Presence.
Breath.
Love.
The golden thread.
I saw it during my birthday ritual, when I looked back over the last year with gratitude and chose an anthem to carry me forward. I felt it in my body when I moved to music and remembered that joy doesn’t come from thinking… it comes from allowing. I tasted it in something as ordinary as an egg salad sandwich on sourdough, the one I asked for, the one that reminded me of comfort and simplicity.
And I felt it most deeply in the quiet moments when I closed the door on old loops and whispered to myself: My energy is mine.
What matters is rarely complicated. For me, it’s the laughter of my children around the dinner table, the way Dan reaches for my hand without words, the ritual of writing that brings me back to myself. It’s the small things that don’t look like much on the outside but stitch together my life.
The Gift of My Birthday Weekend
The greatest gift of my life has always been my children. This birthday weekend, all I asked for was the gift of time … and egg salad sandwiches (yes, really).
Kassandra
Kassandra, my firstborn, came with her man and my grandson Dante, who’s 15 now. When he walked in, the very first thing he said was, “Gma, where else would I be? It’s your birthday.” My heart exploded on the spot. Kassandra carries an energy that fills the whole room with laughter, and having her here was pure joy. She’s always had this light about her… something magnetic that makes people feel at ease and alive in her presence. Having her home felt like being wrapped in that light again.
Kassandra is also an incredible mother. Fierce in the best way. Dante, Hope, and Grace picked well when they chose her. No one goes to bat for her kids more than Kassandra… and that’s where she and I are the same. We are mama bears through and through.
That was the rhythm of the whole weekend… we weren’t rushed. No one had to be anywhere. Everyone was just here to hang… and that is exactly what we did.
Alanna
Alanna, my middle child who lives around the corner (and I couldn’t be happier about that), pulled the whole day together, as she always does. She made the egg salad… we’ve officially named her the Queen of Anything with Mayonnaise because she truly kills it. She’s been traveling a lot this summer, so we finally had time for the real catch-up… the kind where you lean in, where the conversation goes, “Ohhh really? Well, well, well…wow.” The juicy mom-daughter catch-up that makes you feel closer than ever.
Alanna and I are basically the same… we share the importance of friendships, moving our bodies, and a “you can count on me” spirit. She has saved me more times than I can count. If I call her, she’s at my door asking, “How can I help?” and then jumps right in. Her work ethic is 100, and her loyalty and love are unmatched. She has a grounding presence, a steadying energy that keeps us all anchored.
Alex
And then there’s Alex, my baby. He also lives around the corner, and he fills my heart in a way only he can. He has this way about him… steady, thoughtful, and so much like me in how he sees the world. We understand each other on a level that’s just ours… he’ll be explaining something and I’ll find myself saying, “I get it.”
Alex is his own man… strong, confident, carving his own path… and that’s exactly how it should be. But alongside that independence, we share values, we share the meaning of respect, and we share a closeness that makes me so proud of the man he’s become.
This weekend wasn’t about big plans or fancy dinners. It was the moments we live for. The ones we wait for. Not just for me as their mom, but for them too.
We hung out the way we do Christmas morning… slow, cozy, filled with stories, laughter, and love. And that was the real gift.
Carrying It Forward
When the weekend slowed down and I found myself alone again, I thought about the thread that will carry me into this new year of my life. Every birthday, I choose an anthem… and this year I also wrote a vow, a declaration of who I am and who I am becoming.
For my 58th year, the anthem I chose is Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine. There’s something about the wild joy and release in that song… the way it insists that it’s time to rise, to move, to celebrate… that feels like exactly where I’m heading.
And instead of a mantra, I wrote a vow. One that feels like my compass for the year ahead.
🌟 Johanne’s 58th Birthday Vow
I honor the woman I am and the one I am becoming.
I release cages, patterns, and fears that no longer serve me.
I embody peace, health, vitality, wealth, and abundance.
I call in wealth in my heart, in my finances, in my spirit.
I live into the purpose God has placed within me.
I walk with Lion strength, wild freedom, and radiant grace.
This is my year.
I open the door of my becoming…
with courage, joy, and wild possibility.
Birthday Ritual Journal Flow
Because leaning in isn’t only about reflection… It’s also about choosing practices that keep me rooted in what matters. One of the ways I do that is through ritual. Every birthday, I carve out space to honor the year that’s passed and to step intentionally into the one ahead.
Here’s the simple flow I used this year. It may spark something for you, too:
1. Morning: Light the Candle of Becoming
Light a candle and sit quietly for a moment.
Whisper: “Today I honor my life. I open the door to my next becoming.”
Feel into gratitude… not just for what you’ve done, but for the fact that you’re still here, still expanding.
2. Reflection: The Year Behind
On one page, write:
What am I most proud of from the past year?
What lessons did I learn the hard way?
What do I want to thank my past self for carrying me through?
✨ Keep this short—like a love note to the woman you were.
3. Vision: The Year Ahead
On a fresh page, write:
What qualities do I want to embody this year?
What experiences do I want to say YES to?
What boundaries or patterns am I ready to release for good?
✨ Let this flow like painting a picture of your new year with words.
4. Anchor: The Word of the Year
Choose one word or phrase that captures the energy you want to carry.
Examples: Lion, Expansion, Ease, Radiance, Wild Grace.
Write it boldly at the top of a page and circle it. ( I had 5 words! could not pick one)
5. Declaration: Speak it Out Loud
Stand up, candle lit, hand on your heart. Say:
“This is my year of [Word]. I walk through the door of my becoming with courage, joy, and wild possibility. So it is.”
6. Embody It
Put on one song that makes you feel alive (mine this year was Dog Days Are Over). Move for 2–3 minutes. Let this be your first dance of the new year. ( if you are like me, I had the whole family dancing, maybe more than once 😉
I took this picture of myself on my Birthday, walking home from getting a Blo out.
Choosing What’s Important
We all have a choice in what we lean into and what’s important in the season we’re in. This season, I chose intimacy. My family. Conversations with my children that weren’t about rushing or performing, but about sitting together, reflecting on the year that passed, and sharing what I hope to create and invite in this year.
I am their compass. I am their mother. They learn along with me.
I am the cycle breaker, and they are witnessing and learning as I do the work. We are in this together.
There is no separation, no performance, no look at me. There is only me… simply, wholly, their mom.
With deep love, courage, and wild possibility,
Johanne
Love this cuz! 💕